We were an infertile couple until we weren’t. We spend years trying to get pregnant. These were some of our hardest years. We did not have a lot of money. We were not poor but we were just getting by. So when doctors are talking about in-vitro and safety of egg freezing, we just kept wondering if our insurance would cover it. Of course, all of these doubts and fears come while the female has tons of hormones pumped into her body so that every question feels like an attack on her existence as a mother.
When we were in the process, Lee had a lot of bad side effects from the medication and hormones. There was a huge amount of blood, delusions and fevers, and she would experience brief spontaneous blindness. Yes, she would go blind for anywhere from five minutes to about twenty minutes. That was not fun. The delusions and fevers were not much fun either. I would lie in bed and hold her down because she thought that she needed to go somewhere.
Of course this was the days before internet. We did have all of the information that we do now available at our fingertips. Now I can look up “safety of egg freezing” on Google and find all kinds of information. I can go right to the National Institute of Health’s website and find information about infertility right from the United States government.
But we were young and naïve at that time. It never occurred to us that we would not be able to have a baby the old fashioned way. Then, we it was explained, we felt that it was our duty, or maybe our burden, to survive all of the hardship that comes with infertility and prove ourselves worthy of being parents. Now we know better but back then it sounded like good logic.